


the big boy pants problem

by Star_less



Category: 5 Seconds of Summer (Band)
Genre: Baby Calum Hood, Complete, Cross-Posted on deviantArt, Crying, Daddy Luke, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Infantilism, M/M, Non-Sexual Age Play, Not Beta Read, Omorashi, Omutsu, One Shot, pee desperation
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-30
Updated: 2018-05-30
Packaged: 2019-05-16 02:34:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,575
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14802725
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Star_less/pseuds/Star_less
Summary: After being put into (and becoming reliant on) nappies Calum is babied by his bandmates. Then Calum is told that he must wear boxers for a radio show sketch. Things go about as badly as you'd think.





	the big boy pants problem

**Author's Note:**

> I haven't written 5sos babyfic in ages! found this on my old dA sta.sh, fully complete, and wondered why I hadn't uploaded it yet... so, here it is. Enjoy!

The phone started ringing in their hotel room, piercing the lazy silence that had settled minutes before. The four boys stared at eachother but didn’t move, waiting for the other to get to it. Michael was sat, shovelling a squelchy slice of cheese pizza into his mouth. Luke had his iPhone raised to his face and was sticking his tongue out to the camera.

(‘Attractive’, Michael quipped, getting the middle finger and a ‘fuck off cheese breath’ back from his blonde haired bandmate.)

Ashton was slumped, legs spread, eyes boring into the TV. “Oi…” He managed, peeling himself away from Catfish to look at Luke when he swore. “Don’t swear in front of the baby, man.” He nodded toward the floor. “You’re his daddy, you should be teaching him a good example.

Wait… what? Luke has a kid…?

Yes, reader, it's true. Luke has a baby.

Calum was sat on the floor in a nappy, sucking on a pacifier every now and then. Trails of spit dripped onto his front as he reached with chubby hands and waving fingers for a red wooden block that had been gnawed, teeth marks forever etched into it.

...Except this baby was older than usual, his bandmate and his boyfriend all at the same time.  
~~

“For fuck’s sake, is nobody going to get the phone?” Ashton grumbled at last. Calum’s ‘baby’ status didn’t faze any of the boys. The phone clearly did.   
Ashton wandered off, the phone sliding into his hand angrily. He barked a ‘hello’ into the receiver only to instantly shrink downwards at whatever the response was on the other end. Ashton’s eyes shot over to Michael and Luke. “Mhhhhm, mhmmm.” He mumbled. His face started dropping unhappily and he bit his lip, but slowly came off of the phone. “Well… we have a new sketch to do then.” He summarised.

“Right, and the reason you look like someone’s shoved a stick up your ass, bro?” Michael asked, giving a small laugh. Ashton gave him a glare but then sighed, glancing at Luke and down at Calum. “Some weird ass sketch as part of…” He scratches his ear, pulling a few strands of hair back. Gulp. “A radio show.. or, or something. Problem.. we have to strip to our underwear. Like. Have to. No choice.”

“WHAT?” Luke choked out. His eyes widened at Ashton. It wasn’t that he didn’t want to do it, but… “Calum is _dependent_ on nappies, man. Entirely dependent. You KNOW that.” He groaned, throwing a hand through his hair with stress. His teeth were grit. “Why the fuck did you agree!”

“Look, I.. I had no choice, Luke.” Ashton pleaded, holding his hands up. “You’re gonna have to stick him in boxers or something. This is going to be televised and shit.” He said weakly.

“Televised!” Luke spat. His heart sunk. “Well. Fucking well done to you, Ash. The world is gonna see Calum regress and piss himself on live TV!” He huffed.

“Well, and us in our boxers..?” Michael added unhelpfully. The middle finger whipped around to face him again. Calum, who had been zoned out and slapping blocks on top of one another, grinned over at Luke and piped up, “Milky wif’ Daddy?”

Luke’s heart tugged. “‘Course babe. Milky before…” He paused and reached over, scooping Calum up as best he could. The boy was a mess of arms and legs before getting calm and nestling into Luke’s chest. “—oooofff. Bed. Milky before bed.”  
The blonde carried Calum to the kitchen and prepared a frothy drink for him, spooning chocolate powder into his bedtime milk. The kid needed all of the ‘little time’ he could get before tomorrow came with its bad news and shattered him. For now, as Luke nuzzled the nipple of the bottle onto Calum’s open lips; heard the rewarding squeak as Cal sucked down warm chocolate milk, Calum was still Luke’s little boy and Luke was still his Daddy. Luke watched as Calum’s eyes fluttered, heavy with exhaustion before he fell into sleep. He murmured,

‘Night night, Daddy..’

Luke felt a fierce sense of protection crash into his body. He pushed a burning kiss to Calum’s forehead. “Night, Cal. My baby boy. I love you.” He murmured, before carrying Calum to bed.  
On the way – specifically, as they passed the bathroom – Luke felt like he could cry at the sight of Calum’s training potty, standing proud with it’s tattered, faded star stickers.  
~~

Morning came. Luke was up earlier than Calum today. Biting his nails, he slowly took the potty into his hands and took it into the bedroom. Calum was sprawled out on the bed with a small t-shirt on, as well as-- Luke moved the blanket to check. He slid his hand onto the curve of Calum's nappy quickly, daring not to wake the boy. Calum's thighs tensed the moment he did this. The boy let out a sleepy, hitching groan before opening milky brown eyes.

"Daddy?" Calum asked drowsily. He pulled his pacifier to his mouth and took some deep sucks of it, looking relaxed and blissful the second the thick orange bulb pushed against his tongue. 

"Morning, beautiful." Luke sighed softly, carding his fingers through Calum's hair slowly and soothingly. "Did you sleep well?"

Calum nodded, and pulled a face as he shifted in his spot, feeling Luke's hand on his nappy. "W- what are you doing?" He asked shyly. A blush slowly heated up his cheeks. "I... I need to wee." 

Luke realised he still had his hand on the front of Calum's nappy, and registered that it was bone dry, which only meant Calum was very very close to soaking it. "Oh, baby, come on." He said, a little flustered. "Let's use the potty today?"

Calum froze in place, his lower half tensed but frozen too. He gave Luke a stare and a frown, confused. "Potty?" He asked slowly, worriedly. "No.. Daddy." He leaned over onto the nappy so it crinkled hard. "I.. I use nappies, remember?"

Luke gulped back the lump in his throat. "Cal," He said gently, his hand carding Calum's hair constantly to help him keep calm. "We have a sketch today, you know that, right?"

"Yes Daddy." Calum nodded, his voice a melting mix of both his high pitched little voice and his crackly grown up voice. He fidgeted more, tugging on the blanket. A small dribble of peepee soaked the front of his nappy and he whimpered a little.   
Luke glanced down, but continued slowly. "Well, the thing is, it involves stripping down... You're gonna have to be in your big boy pants, buddy. We're gonna have to practise pottying instead. Is that okay with you?"

It turned out that this was not okay with Calum, not okay at all, and fat tears spiralled down his cheeks not long after Luke spoke. Sobs shuddered down his body. "Daddy, baby can't potty!" He whimpered, over and over into Luke's shoulders as Luke lifted him up and held him close and cooed to him. Luke felt Calum's knees knocking together and quietly brought him to the potty. 

Calum sobbed. 

Luke quietly, slowly eased the nappy from Calum's waist. He cooed over and over, telling Calum that this was their practise go and he was going to do so well. 

Calum sobbed harder. 

Luke brought Calum, a stickily hot and exhausted little boy and a mess of arms and limbs, down onto the plastic potty. Calum felt so open and like he was being watched. His face was hot and sticky, his nose dripping snot. Luke rubbed his clammy back. "Go, baby boy.." He cooed reassuringly, studding kisses over Calum's soaking cheeks. "Take a big deep breath for Daddy.."

Calum took a deep breath, feeling the breath fritter away from him through sheer desperation. His knees trembled and awkwardly knocked together again. Calum was about to whimper as the tiniest dribble of wee nestled itself against the plastic. Luke shut him up with another whisper of a kiss. "You poor _thing_." Luke cooed, rubbing Calum's back. "You can do a peepee on the potty for Daddy, mmm? Let go for Daddy, hon." Luke continued. 

Calum's breath hitched. A stream hit the potty with a loud clang onto the plastic before Cal felt himself clamming up again. Fortunately for Calum, Luke kept up the little routine of small kisses and cooes and encouragements until another stream hit the potty with a soft hiss, slowly and gently quietly hissing and continuing on.

"Mmmm.." Calum moaned uncomfortably and frowned. Peeing felt great, but not when he was sitting on a cold potty with everything on display. "Mnn.. nh.." He shifted and paused, before forcing the stream out. Luke gasped as the gentle gurgle of water on plastic turned into a hissing and gushing jet of water on water on water. By the time Calum was done, he was aching and whimpering at Luke as if Luke had just made him sit on hot coals. 

"There.." Luke said weakly to the quiet boy. "Look, you did a peepee in the potty! Was that so bad, hmm?"

Calum's voice cracked. "No like. Need nappy." He managed to blub before dissolving into tears, "Don't let me have big boy pants, Daddy." 

It was going to be a long day, Luke thought to himself, as he scooped the blubbing Calum up into his arms for a comforting.  
~

"Left leg, Calum."

It was three hours later. Calum was 'grown up' but to look at him now you'd never guess it.

Sulkily, Calum lifted his left leg an inch off of the ground, refusing to ease himself into the boxers he'd treasured before whole miserable bedwetting experience began. Luke sighed an odd sigh, stern and rough, making Calum's insides quiver. He almost considered relenting but quickly refused. 

"Look, Cal, it isn't me you should be pissed with." Luke told him at last, yanking the grey material onto Calum's skinny thighs. "It's Ashton, and you know that this is going to have to happen at some point ready for tour." He tried to reason. Calum gave him a thick glare. Sure he had to tour but it wasn't as if he'd be parading around bare assed all day.   
Eventually as Luke returned his glare after six achingly heavy minutes Calum broke down into heaving sobs and fell into Luke's arms, instantly comforted by the thick hands that held him in tight. "M' just frightened." Calum choked, voice coated with sobs and saliva as he spoke into Luke's shoulder. "Don't know what's gonna happen."

"No... no baby." Luke said, making a small rocking motion as Calum stayed in his arms unmoving. "We've been through this.." He took Calum's chin, tilting it upwards with the tips of his fingers. "It's gonna work out just fine. Potty before the show and straight after." He promised, "And as soon as we get outta there and back to this place.." He paused, making a small gesture to the hotel room they sat in, "You're gonna be just fine. Alright?"

Cal sniffed, looking up at Luke. His eyes were puffy red slits and tears still leaked out, but he nodded. Luke patted Calum's now-covered bum and Calum went to dress, whimpering about how the boxers were way too thin for his liking.   
~

As soon as Calum dressed, everything was a blur after that. Calum sat in the back of the bus, feeling fragile. Every time the boys tried to engage him in conversation he whimpered and looked ready to cry. 

Eventually, Michael sighed. He looked over his shoulder to the almost sobbing boy at the back. "Cally. Come over here, yeah?" He invited. "We can watch some Lion King. It's got Hakuna Matata, remember, you like Hakuna Matata!" He urged, every inch the 'big brother'.

To his great relief, Calum nodded and scurried into Michael's lap. To his even greater relief, Calum kept Michael's lap dry as they got to the venue, Hakuna Matata filling his head.

It started going rapidly downhill when the boys started messing around. They had to stick their hands down eachother's pants to grab the questions and to entertain eachother were giving increasingly silly answers. 

"My philosophy," Ashton beamed, "is Hakuna Matata!"   
Michael gasped and broke out into song, sliding across the floor in his socks. Calum felt his heart leap excitedly, bursting into giggles. Lion King! Like they saw earlier! He burst into giggles, his face red and shoulders jumping, hands to his mouth as he joined in, swaying side to side. The giggling was pretty short lived when Calum realised it was making his bladder thump. 

He whimpered. Froze in place and locked together his hands, jamming them in front of his unprotected crotch. Leaned in and out, biting his lip. He wished he had a nappy on. He wished he didn't whine to Luke about putting his Pull Up on, even. The paper questions in his undies provided minimal protection and he couldn't leak for fear of his bandmates scooping out a wet question. He longingly eyed Luke who was getting a question chosen and his undies re-adjusted by Michael.

"You okay?" Ashton mouthed during the quiet moment. Calum's shifting hadn't gone unnoticed by any of the guys, assuming the paper balls covering his crotch were irritating him. 

Calum looked a tad taken aback but he nodded softly. "M- mhmm.." He lied. He... he was, right? There was, there was his potty down the hall. Right..? I- it wasn't far and he could.. could wait until Daddy scooped him up and took him there...

"Okay then.." Ashton sighed as he turned away slightly. "Tell us if you need something, though. You look pissed."

No, Calum wasn't pissed, but he really, really had to. It turned out that Calum was not as okay as he'd originally, uhh, lied to himself about.

The young boy was fidgeting more and more as the segment began to wind down. He hoped it came across as boredom, but he could feel himself scrunching his face up as he fought to hold back the peepee wanting to burst out into his pants. Since he wasn't even padded, he didn't want that to happen! He continued to whimper, looking down at himself as he felt the thudding increase and then a little bit of peepee dribbled out into his pants. Calum gasped loudly, staring at the crotch. "Lukey.. Lukey!" He said frantically. The young boy's eyes were wide as he started to frantically squirm. 

"What, baby?" Luke asked, pulling Calum to the side. Calum squealed shrilly as he was jostled. "No! Lukey! I- I'm gonna--!" He gasped, before there was a soft rustling as a stream started bursting out from his tired bladder and gushing into his undies. Luke gasped and the show producer was heard shouting, 'Oh shit!' before the transmission was cut off. Luke had much the same reaction. 

"Shitshitshit.." Luke moaned under his breath. Calum's eyes were growing glassy with tears and his face grew hot. "Daddy, I told, I needa weeeeeee-weeeeeee-e-e-e!" He howled, holding himself as he'd managed to stop. Luke muffled his howl by scooping him up into his arms. 

"I know, baby I know." He whispered, giving urgent eyes to Michael. "Potty?" He hissed.

"Dressing room ensuite." Michael supplied sympathetically as Luke gave him a bitch glare. That was so fucking far away for the poor baby about to soak himself. 

"Ugh, great." Luke moaned, but clutched Cal tight in his arms. "Okay baby," He said, pleadingly, "Can you hold it while we rush?"

Calum looked unsure, unsure and conflicted, but nodded all the same. He let himself be lifted into Luke's arms, whimpering and burying his soaked face into Luke's cheek, then neck. Luke patted his back and shushed him before taking off down the corridors. 

"Ten minutes, baby, ten minutes and you can potty all you need." He soothed. His voice sounded funny. Calum whimpered in reply. Ten minutes seemed like a long time.   
Luke was running, and it bumped Cal up and down, up and down, like he was on a fairground ride. He tugged in tighter, groaning, feeling wetness slipping down his legs. "Daddy, it's coming out!" He pleaded, tears trickling again. 

"I know, I know, baby. It's okay, you're doing really well." Luke promised, his stock reply. 

Five minutes and, fuck, despite the slowly growing grapefruit of wetness seeping into Luke's right side, Calum was doing well. Luke threw himself and the baby into the elevator, ready to go zooming up to their floor. Laying flush against the wall of the elevator, Luke sighed. He mopped Calum's damp black hair. "Doing really well, baby boy." He said to their reflection, noticing Calum's pink-red and white marbled face. 

Calum clenched his legs in tight, trying to wiggle a hand down to grab at himself, pushing his soaked crotch into Luke's hip desperately. He felt more coming. "D- Daddy.." He said warningly.

"Ssssh, sh. Almost there." Luke murmured. 

"N- no.. Daddy..!" Calum repeated, voice thick. His hand gripped Luke desperately, urging him, desperate not to wee on Daddy. He let out a short, sharp sob. 

"L- lemme down! Gonna--" was about as far as he got before his bladder gave in. 

Luke only realised when Calum went boneless on his hip, and a hot, stinging rush of liquid started gushing out against him. It soaked the end of his shirt and the hastily-thrown on jeans. "Oh.." He murmured, but made no move to shift Calum. He kissed the boy's hair sadly. "Oh, bubba, you're okay, you're just fine."

Calum couldn't help but relax as what felt like a million hours worth of peepee burst through the flimsy big boy pants and sent rivers running down his legs. But then he realised he was weeing all over Daddy and Daddy wouldn't put him down and most definitely he wasn't a big boy. He shook his head wildly, sobbing openly now, lips puckering as the tears streamed from his dark brown eyes. "N-n.. no. No big boy." He sobbed brokenly. His free hand rubbed his pitiful little eyes, tired out from all the emotion and stress of the day.

"I think you're a big boy." Luke nodded, kissing his damp face again. "Only big boys can hold it as long as you did, and you held it for a long long time." He promised. 

Cal was finished by this point, but clamped up consciously as Luke pulled the two of them gently down the corridor to their room. "Bath?" He asked, whimpering, like an owl. Luke nodded. "'Course, baby."   
Satisfied, Calum nodded. "Legs are itchy." He told Luke, looking down to his crotch, where the underwear lay seethrough with soggy papers inside. There were weaving tracks and lines as the pee streamed down his legs.

Still, desperate to prove he was a big boy, like everyone had been asking of him, once Luke set him down in the bathroom Calum toddled determinedly to the blue training potty in the corner next to the home of the willy eating potty monster. The big toilet. Or at least that's what Michael told him, so Calum was wary. 

Luke turned the taps on to fill the bath. Calum wiggled off his faintly yellow underwear and let them land on the floor with a wet squelch, refusing to look at the soaked papers collected inside. The running water hitting the bathtub was hopefully enough to make Calum wee a little more. He frowned and gave a push. 'Hrrn..'

Come on, he had to have a teensy bit..!

'Hrrrn.' Calum grunted softly, frustrated. Luke sat frozen next to his little boy, wary of all the noises he was making. "Baby.." He finally asked, "What are you doing?"

"Tryna make a weewee." Calum frowned. Luke burst into amused laughter, relieved it wasn't anything worse. "Oh, babes, I don't think you have any left yet. Come on, come wash up with Daddy. Let's get the weewee off your legs." He soothed, gently placing the naked boy into the tub. 

Calum was instantly distracted with pulling the lid off of the Matey bubble bath and spilling it's blue guts into the water until it made frothy bubbles. Luke shed his own clothes, tempted to squeeze in with Calum. As he lifted a foot into the bubbly water, Calum stopped him. "No, Daddy!"

"No?" Luke took his foot back. "Why not?" 

"Only little boys get bubbly baths!" Calum giggled, amused, throwing white clouds of soap over the tiled walls. "Silly Daddy!"

"Only little boys? I thought you were a big boy!" Luke teased animatedly, pulling his foot back. Calum hesitated. "Big boys and little boys!" He hurriedly reassured, scooting back to let Luke climb in. Luke did, and Calum climbed over him, reaching up for his blonde hair. 

"M' gonna wash your hair, Daddy." Calum told him, scooping bubbly water over Luke's head until his hair lay flat. Luke giggled and relaxed with his eyes closed, letting Calum do as he pleased. If there was anything Luke learned 'cause of today's experiences, it was to cherish the little moments before touring rolled around to ruin it.

And to listen to Calum when he asks to go down.

And to not trust Ashton to agree to stupid radio sketches.

And Hakuna Matata. Always Hakuna Matata. Ashton was right, Luke had to give him that. Hakuna Matata was a great life motto.

Especially with an accident prone baby boy.

**Author's Note:**

> this is inspired by that one sketch they did, I think it was for radio one. I hope you enjoyed it, and I very much appreciate comments and kudos. This may be the last 5sos babyfic I ever write, mind you. But, uni has just finished for summer... so who knows?


End file.
